The leaders retreat was over. I shared my testimony and i'm quite happy with it althought at times I still think about if more or less should be shared. I really think that the stage is one of the greatest enemies of my soul.

I don't know how its going to be if I were to go ahead with changing the format of our children service to one which requires myself to teach most of the week. It'll mean that I'm up on 'stage' almost every week and it'll have a big impact on me. I've struggled with this long enough so to me right now, if there's no doubt God's work is going to be done, I'll be working with the team to move forward. I suppose if i have such a short life time that I should give it my best to work this out.

I just spent the night making a cheesecake for my shepherd and mentor Pastor Johanes who will be leaving to lead our church in South Africa this Friday. In the process i realised I don't have jelly powder to make it the cake stand and enough butter to keep the crushed biscuit hard.

It is now in the fridge and I'm not sure how it'll turn out. But however ugly it will appear when its cut tomorrow doesn't really matter because the cake is a good representation of the kind of person Pastor Jo is. He taught me not so much with his words but rather with his actions that we don't need to be impressive on the outside but just be righteous and strong on the inside.

He also taught me 1) not to immitate other ministries and God calls us for a unique work. 2)train men and 3) release ourselves to the work of the Spirit.

I've been privilege to be mentored by him as i was with the various mentors before him. I want to thank him for playing a big part in making me survive my first year in full time ministry and also for leaving a mark for me in my journey of life.

I'm going to miss him but i know he's needed elsewhere where God will use Him greatly, so I better stop writing now. Good night!

Aisei Africa which means Hello Africa

The message is 90% completed. And this Sunday is it... trying to change the tide and teaching children to have an ambition to take the road less travelled will be a challenge. Nope, kids naturally do not want to be missionaries. They want to be engineers, they want to be doctors and Singapore Idols but definitely not missionaries...

I managed to rewrite the song that we didn't use in our last year's Christmas Star Musical for this week's event. Here's the Mission Sunday version of "On my way" where Wan Yueh, wrote a wonderful tune to it.

On my way (Mission Sunday Version)

What am I doing now ?
I don’t remember when I last check
If it wasn’t for the prominent wall
I would not even think of the door

I should be writing a letter
Though it look really bad
Fighting within, packing my sins
I need not worry who to send to …

With so many different places
From widest ocean to nervous shores
Big time rising, my high rise dreams
May come crashing to the floor

Where are the places to hide
When Jesus calling inside,
Heaven’s waiting, so I won’t stay
I’m not there, but I’m on my way

If you want to hear how it sounds, let me know and I'll ask if Wan Yueh wants to come over to sing it for you. If not, I do have the old version recorded in my hard disk at my little homestudio ..

Last night I read the most weird account of Elisha's ministry. Right after taken over from Elijah as prophet extraordinaire, he wasn't really that popular with the younger crowd. Well they was this bunch of young lads who came out and started calling him names. They called him 'bald headed' which i'm sure has some truth in it but nevertheless its how they said it I suppose. Well Elisha wasn't really that happy.

I really don't want to go into the details about how he responded with a curse and then 2 female bears (why female?) suddenly appeared and globbered all of them up, but you should read it yourself. It was gruesome and bloody .... Isn't it strange that a book so violent, can be the most read and best selling book in the history of mankind ? Well now you can save money not needing to buy Stephen King novels.

Popular Elisha may not be but anointed he was surely. Infact double the portion that Elijah his guru had. Most of the time we go with popularity and Christianity is not necessarily about being popular than it is about being His. When we are His, there will be anointing and we will have that special favor. Female bears may not eat up our enemies but circumstance will change and we'll be given anointing in other areas. In love, in peace, in patience, in self control, in all good things.

Best of all, we are given anointing that comes from Him who truly loves us.

Manchester United lost to Chelsea 3-1 this morning. It was devastating. It completely spoilt my breakfast time with my wife when I caught the last 10 minutes of the match on TV in the coffee shop.

But I will get over it. If there's something about losing in football it is that disappointments are shortlived. There's always the next match to look forward to. Often winning the next one erases much of the pain of previous loss and just like life, we move on perhaps a bit stronger and a little bit wiser

I was asked by a colleague to share my testimony during the coming leaders retreat. The first thing that came to my mind was " I'm so busy I do not have time to prepare ". But before I could tell him that, he told me it would be about time management and he wanted me to share about how I always found time to do all that is required of me despite my heavy work and family responsibility.

So there, I'll be sharing my testimony about time management in the coming camp.

I'm freaking out because i realise I don't have enough theology to explain how I manage my time. Anyway i thought about what a testimony should be. Is it suppose to be so clever, so clear that everything making sense ? What if I haven't figure out everything and somehow God is doing something supernatural that doesn't make sense at all (which he often does). Shouldn't a testimony be a real story, with our struggles, realisations, dreams as well as the wonder of God, rather than just a series of doctrinally correct statements. Well, if so then, I really should speak truthfully and let God be glorified through what He is really doing in my life. Anyway its not like a lot of things in life can be easily figured out in the first place.

I had very little sleep yesterday and when i finally got to bed, I was lying there thinking how luxurious sleep can be and I started to wonder the many other things that almost costs us nothing that are extremely good, like the air we breathe, nature, music and Kellogg's corn flakes.

"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves." - Psalms 127:2

I'm totally dis-engaged. I feel like my mind is separated from my body and my action and speech far away from my will. I went through the entire weekend going through the motion. I have fulfilled all that I need to do but perhaps failed to make a real difference.

I will come back to a place where my speech and actions can be cultivated, where they can be bore out of peace and silence. I need my devotion, my solitude where refreshment occurs and new creation be formed.

I need my quiet time .... cos the Lord is waiting, isn't He ?

On My Way - Acrylic on Canvas

This is a painting I did of a scene on our journey to Botswana from Johanesburg in 2003. It reminds us that we are all not there but on our way and that life is always a journey and never a mere destination. I hope you like it

If I was John Mayer, I would have to start getting to know myself again and that will take another lifetime. So since I'm already on my way I'll rather continue to be myself.

If you have yet to know yourself, start by saying "hello, how do you do?" and you'll on your way. Pity if you've died, you realised that you have tried to know so many people but you don't do a good job because you don't even know yourself. You can't know anybody without letting them know you and they can't know you if you don't even know yourself. Ah, we a bunch of pretenders ?

God loves us as we are and if we don't even know ourselves, we will not allow God to know the real us. We will just be pretending to live a life worthy of Him. Because we can't impress Him with what we do... we can only be ourselves and let Him love us just as we are.