Lee came in to volunteer with HopeKids for the second consecutive day. She is working out the roster for the HopeKids LIVE! for next quarter and I notice how complicated our roster has become. As complicated as it is, it isn't as detailed and elaborate as the Snow Queen children musical I saw last week at the Esplanade Theatre. 'The Little Company' the organisation that produces it believes that great productions are not just for adults but for kids too. The many productions they have made proved their stand. The children ministry shouldn't be any less in its stand and commitment to give the best to children. Though its a lot of hardwork it is worth it. Lee is a Thai national used to be a member of our church in Bangkok, she is now married to David a faithful member in the HopeKids team. She is a diligent lady typical of what I see Thai Christians to be.

We have lots of diligent people in the ministry. I realise I spend so much time with those who are devoted to the cause of a God who has given them freedom. It is a privilege and God's way of keeping me humble. They do not work for power or economic reasons but purely for the sake of the call of the person they are indebted to. I am also among people who are driven by profit and self interest. I catch up with them now and then. These people help me too. They help me contrast life. I'm indebted to them too. I should do something good for them sometime. God, help me do something for them.

A big part of my work is to be at peace with these people around me and challenge them towards charity because we are first and foremost God's most important charity and our treasure is not on earth but in heaven. Volunteer is such a technical word for someone that is so much more spiritual and meaningful. I like the word sojourner. Why don't we call each others sojourners for we are in this temporary place to built something not made of brick on earth but of lives and souls in heaven. Though we may be physically home, we may not really be home at all, all of us in this land of our sojourn. And since we are at it, let's just stick together cos its a better thing to do than to do it all by ourselves. I appreciate our volunteers more because they are fellow sojourners in this place together than they are volunteers.

Last weekend after the HopeKids Service & Christmas rehearsal, I went on a short trip to KL. This time I brought May Ann and with a bag pack each we hopped on a bus to rush to a high-school friend's wedding at the Concorde Hotel in KL. Our target arrival time was 7pm (just in time for the wedding) but we arrived at 8:30pm because of an unusual traffic jam at the North South highway. It was right before the bride and bridgeroom's walk-in to the ballroom. Oh how wedding banquets encourage late comers I don't quite understand. Maybe people who were early, had a much better time but I was just glad to have made it.

I was a wee bit disappointed because there were only 2 familiar faces. These were friends I haven't met for almost 15 years. Both are married and came accompanied with wives and children. It was nice catching up with them and learning about what happened after all these years. It was more an update what we are now doing rather than what we have become. However I was glad to at least be able to share what I'm devoted to and my belief in the glory of the church.

The trip was really short as I was set packing for home after lunch the next day. In the morning, May Ann got to play with her two cousins Tiffany and Annabel and I caught up with my second brother who came from Australia who has just announced his engagement to a wonderful girl whom I've meet when she was touring Singapore. You see, she is a professional skater and is now on a tour in Asia with the Hollywood on Ice team. I'm very happy for him. He is a brother I got closer to, more in our absence than when we were living together. He asked me to be his bestman for his wedding day and I smiled an OK.

Without pre-booking our return tickets, we were thankful not having to wait for a long time for a coach. We managed to get a pair of good tickets 15 minutes before that coach departs. May Ann enjoyed her short trip and while she was sleeping on the way back, I reflected upon coming home. Though the trip was short, I missed Mag and the other kids and I missed the stuff that made me here in Singapore.

I started to think about how the prodigal son would feel when he was coming home. Well I thought unlike him I wasn't unsure if I will be accepted back home, I was confident I will be loved. Of course the prodigal son's fear was unfounded as he later learned how forgiving and accepting his father was to his coming home. I thought if that was so for him who have sinned and walked away, what about us believers who have just made 'short trips'. Shouldn't those who have kept remaining in the Father's love be even more filled with joy and gratefulness not having spiritually left.

Mag and Mei Si picked us up at the Bedok Hawker centre when we arrived and we had a great time catching up over supper like we have been gone for weeks. May Ann had small presents for everyone. I felt like it was the longest 2 days I was away but it taught me the everlasting joy of coming home.

I lost my wallet last week. My IC, driving license, credit card and my discount cards .. argghh no more 10% discount for my Sunday lunches after service I normally enjoy with my church membership card. It would also mean hassle and money to get them all replaced. I've been in a bit of depression after that. However someone I spoke to last week told me that I don't look sad having lost my wallet. I told her to wait until a week's time when nobody returns it to see how I look. Actually I looked okay then because in the midst of doing other things I've forgotten that I lost my wallet. When I'm reminded and this week when nobody has returned it, I'm a total wreck.

When we greet one another and look that joyful look, we often forgotten that we have lost something as well. We have lost our true identity, the best that God wants to give to us through our sin and selfishness. Some of us are just happy to be indifferent to that loss and try to make it through on our own. Instead of forgetting, we ought to remember. Remember that after that we have lost something that it can be found again in Christ. It is the most fulfilling thing to remember Christ and his providence especially during Christmas when it is a time of joyful giving. Let the joy of the Lord be our strength and we don't need to go through it on our own.

My kids are growing up. Mei Si just came back from her trip to Genting Highlands with my mum in law, her first one week break from her parents and siblings. May Ann has just gone for orientation at her new primary school. Chern Han just learned to say things like "mine" and "I want".

As the kids grows up, we grow older too. I realise that somehow the older we get, the more attracted we are to things that are deeper, quieter and appear more spiritual. Maybe we are in our twilight years where the thrill has gone and we stop having hunger for a good rush of blood through the head anymore. We start to think and feel a little bit reflectively. I work up early yesterday morning so I read the much neglected old testament book of Amos to realise how God would roar from Zion, send fire upon houses and consume citadels and things in Judah, Israel and the neighbouring nations. He declare in 4:11 onward that though he did all that, yet people have not returned to him and therefore He will keep doing them.. and plead for them to prepare to meet their God.

As old as God was at that time, He hasn't really lost it. His passion for people was evident there in the old book of Amos. From then til when He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross and even now as we all lived, He hasn't slow down .. He still longs for us to call Him and to meet Him. I think making me older is His way of helping me dwell in Him a little bit easier. Rich Mullins say that God is a wild man and I have to agree that He is ...like a mad man who would do crazy things just to get our attention.

His love is sometimes resting at his bosom but sometimes it is with a whole lot of fire. He may not love the way we sentimentalise it to be, but nevertheless it is still love. Some call it tough love... some call it perfect love. I don't know if I can describe it but to me it is a mad and crazy love that is undying and passionate, a love that nothing can fully describe and even if can be closely, it has to be tasted to be complete. I hope as we grow old, we can taste more and more of it so that the older we get (rather than being finished) we can be more complete.

I haven't been blogging for quite a while because I discovered a way of writing out my prayers to God in my journal. Like everything else that's new, it was really exciting doing it discovering how my prayers can be so concrete and focused. It was a new experience. It's been around 2 weeks.

On Monday, I lost my journal. The person who found it called yesterday to ask me to collect it from his home. Apparently I dropped it in the middle of road at Carpmael Road near Joo Chiat. I got it back from his maid this morning and when I flipped through the pages, I realised that I do not have my name nor my phone number written in any part of it for him to be able to contact me. I'm curious who the person is and how does he know that the journal belongs to me.

Stranger things have happened but its always the last that kept me wondering, how much in life are things that will meet the eye, the ear or even the intellect. This week a child in service asked me if Eve was not suppose to eat the fruit from the tree then why did God create the tree in the Garden of Eden. Mei Si asked my wife this same week, if she cannot eat sweets why do they sell them in the shops. My question this week is if I cannot have that nice penthouse on top of the hill, then why was it built ?

Ha ha ha, it was build for some other purpose that at the point in time wasn't meant for me. Similarly the fruit wasn't meant for Eve, the sweets wasn't meant for Mei Si, the penthouse just couldn't be mine at that point in time. It's just the order of things and we have to be submissive to that. But who knows, maybe one day, the order may change. But at the moment I'm happy staying in my humble HDB in Tampines. And I'm also happy that I lost my journal for a while that now I appreciate it much more. It's definitely nice also to blog again.

By the way I have a new favourite family photo.