The ragged pieces of ideas and thoughts of my attempt to live a life as a contemporary monastic in the urban city of Singapore..
Growing Up
My kids are growing up. Mei Si just came back from her trip to Genting Highlands with my mum in law, her first one week break from her parents and siblings. May Ann has just gone for orientation at her new primary school. Chern Han just learned to say things like "mine" and "I want".
As the kids grows up, we grow older too. I realise that somehow the older we get, the more attracted we are to things that are deeper, quieter and appear more spiritual. Maybe we are in our twilight years where the thrill has gone and we stop having hunger for a good rush of blood through the head anymore. We start to think and feel a little bit reflectively. I work up early yesterday morning so I read the much neglected old testament book of Amos to realise how God would roar from Zion, send fire upon houses and consume citadels and things in Judah, Israel and the neighbouring nations. He declare in 4:11 onward that though he did all that, yet people have not returned to him and therefore He will keep doing them.. and plead for them to prepare to meet their God.
As old as God was at that time, He hasn't really lost it. His passion for people was evident there in the old book of Amos. From then til when He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross and even now as we all lived, He hasn't slow down .. He still longs for us to call Him and to meet Him. I think making me older is His way of helping me dwell in Him a little bit easier. Rich Mullins say that God is a wild man and I have to agree that He is ...like a mad man who would do crazy things just to get our attention.
His love is sometimes resting at his bosom but sometimes it is with a whole lot of fire. He may not love the way we sentimentalise it to be, but nevertheless it is still love. Some call it tough love... some call it perfect love. I don't know if I can describe it but to me it is a mad and crazy love that is undying and passionate, a love that nothing can fully describe and even if can be closely, it has to be tasted to be complete. I hope as we grow old, we can taste more and more of it so that the older we get (rather than being finished) we can be more complete.
As the kids grows up, we grow older too. I realise that somehow the older we get, the more attracted we are to things that are deeper, quieter and appear more spiritual. Maybe we are in our twilight years where the thrill has gone and we stop having hunger for a good rush of blood through the head anymore. We start to think and feel a little bit reflectively. I work up early yesterday morning so I read the much neglected old testament book of Amos to realise how God would roar from Zion, send fire upon houses and consume citadels and things in Judah, Israel and the neighbouring nations. He declare in 4:11 onward that though he did all that, yet people have not returned to him and therefore He will keep doing them.. and plead for them to prepare to meet their God.
As old as God was at that time, He hasn't really lost it. His passion for people was evident there in the old book of Amos. From then til when He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross and even now as we all lived, He hasn't slow down .. He still longs for us to call Him and to meet Him. I think making me older is His way of helping me dwell in Him a little bit easier. Rich Mullins say that God is a wild man and I have to agree that He is ...like a mad man who would do crazy things just to get our attention.
His love is sometimes resting at his bosom but sometimes it is with a whole lot of fire. He may not love the way we sentimentalise it to be, but nevertheless it is still love. Some call it tough love... some call it perfect love. I don't know if I can describe it but to me it is a mad and crazy love that is undying and passionate, a love that nothing can fully describe and even if can be closely, it has to be tasted to be complete. I hope as we grow old, we can taste more and more of it so that the older we get (rather than being finished) we can be more complete.
posted by Hiew Hong Teck # 2:05 AM
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
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