"God loves people so much!"

We cannot not fully understand what that statement means....

Maybe we can if we were there on that day in Calvary where Jesus hung on the cross. Even then, probably not, as people thought he was a lunatic, a criminal and someone less.

Maybe we can understand if we were there to see the empty tomb. Hmmm... even then, perhaps as there were so few who did and even if we were that few, we would have dismissed it and not know the significance of it

Maybe we can when we were there during the Pentecost to experience the power from on high. ... But on second thought, perhaps not, as I could have taken it as just a spiritual experience but be unfaithful to it as nothing is felt after that.

OK ... now maybe the best way to understand it is not to be where it has happened in history. Maybe the best place and time to is in the present, in the now!

With the bible his Holy word in our hand and the move of His Spirit in the church we belong to. Maybe now is the best time to understand and experience "God loves people so much". We are the church of God today with his complete power and authority!

Had a old pair of slippers. 4 years old. Bought a new pair a few months back. Thought it to be a good replacement for the old pair. Didn't like it so switched back to using the old pair until last night, the strap snapped and it tore. Now I am forced to use the new pair with the old pair cast aside. I have no choice but to embrace the new.

Concidentally, last night my Mac Mini died as well. Sad but its true. Old things have a life span. Old ideas too.

If we hold on to old ideas too long, it'll do what it has to do, go. And when it happens, will our passion gets pull down to death with it?

Get used to letting go so we can keep both the contribution of the old while embracing the new. It's wise to be open to new ideas, strategies and methodologies as we grow. Its uneasy, I know.

But don't worry, its fine. Just never ever let go of the One who knows how to make all things new.

I like leading but I don't like being a leader.

It works better for me if leadership is not a title. But in reality it is a title. It has its good and bad. Good that it gains instant respect. Bad in that it attracts holy expectations.

On hindsight, the good of instant respect isn't good as it gains it from people who really don't know you. That's disillusionment on the part of people willing to put you on a pedestal one day but then pushes you into a pit another.

The bad of attracting religious expectations isn't really bad either as it instantly tells you the area to grow as well as who you are to please and who you just can't. It helps to see those willing to grow with you and those who just wants you to get it together.

But regardless whether we are leaders or not, every Christian's call is to grow to be a better leader. My challenge is to grow to one of greater capacity. A ministry that is growing without the person is dangerous. Ministry becomes monsters when people are not embracing the needed change.

Lately, I have the rare experience of being in a phase where I don't know what to do anymore. Problems mount up, challenges escalate. Questions of if the vision is even possible mounts up. I have questioned if growing is worth it. But everytime my old self brings up that question, the new self challenges me with another; If fear and staying scared is worth the price of not growing? It is true that if we don't do what God has called us to do, we'll always be scared.

Bigger really means a bigger heart, mind and spirit to care. At the end of the day it isn't about how big is the size of our church, it's about how big is the size of our care.

Every area of every department needs to grow, the self, the people, the structure and the capacity to balance people and structure through listening to God. Without people, the structure falls. Without structure, people falls. This isn't a game. Its real connection and relationship with Him we co-labor with. If that involves a title, then let it be.

People will look at a title but God looks at our function and heart. If what is in the heart is good enough for God. It should be good enough for me. I like leading and I'm a leader in Him though I will never like being a leader.

Yes we did it! we celebrated our 13th anniversary recently. I don't take my marriage with Mag for granted. I’m grateful for how long we’ve been at it especially when Mag and I did our PE - Prepare/Enrich marriage assessment and the conclusion was we are a conflicted couple (that means of 5 levels, the first being harmonious and 5 being 'cannot make it', we are at 4 - conflicted). Can't believe it but the Lord's grace is sufficient for us.

Incidently I'm back to using Ragsjournal for my personal blog, leaving Ragsstudio as a site for the Lord's work and calling in my life. I've assigned hthiew.com as the domain to this site. It has been a great 3 plus years since I announced moving to Ragsstudio.com where God has lead me through great successes and setbacks, victories and trials. I've learned so much especially every ups having its downs and every downs, its ups.

I conclude for these 3 years .. "If God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), there's always a better way. Perseverance is a virtue but perseverance by doing things differently may be the God thing for you"

Ultimately the Spirit is in control.

I continue my journey of my journey so far, maybe moving back to the roots. I hope to share more intimately here. All leadership, ministry and activistic stuff will be over at Ragsstudio.com.