We just got a new digital camera because its chinese new year, the old one was 4 years old and couldn't work without something to tape the cover to the camera body (you see the latch is broken and it just won't switch on if the cover is not completely closed).

It's a second hand discontinued Canon A70 off the yahoo auction. Brought it home and played with it. It has all those fancy shutter, aperture, focus speed stuff which is Greek to me. I experimented with it yesterday and here are some photos of what it can do.

It can do night shots like this


It can capture how messy our house looks like just after the kids have gone to bed and before we clear things up.


It does children shots like these too. In close up

and in weird places


I also want to take a shot of this camera but realise this model doesn't have a 'take myself' mechanism. I should have just stuck a mirror in front of the lens and click.

Anyway with this new camera, I'm close to ready for the chinese new year. Now I only have to change money for ang pows, clear up some work in the office, finish my preparation for this Friday's children service, buy chinese new year goodies, clean up the house, decorate the house (before my parents arrive), shop for some new clothes for the kids and meet up with a friend I promised to meet up before the new year ...... err anyway Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!

It was coming to 2 am in the morning, I was there in the smoky coffee shop with other fellow night-owls glued to the small TV screen watching the much heated rivalry between Manchester United and Liverpool. It was coming towards the end of the second half, almost 90 minutes of over-promised and under-delivering performances from players of both sides. I was tired and I sat there wondering why am I wasting my time? Why did I walked this distance, in the wee hours of the morning, to this not so clean 24 hours joint, just for a dull and uninspiring match ?

When the first & only goal of the match came through Rio Ferdinand 2 minutes before the final whistle; When the crowd of the Stadium at Old Trafford in England and those in the coffee shop at Tampines Street 11 went wild. I was delighted and said to myself how could I even think of missing a historic & glorius moment such as this.

Sometimes I also feel like wasting time living a life of faith in this dark and smoky place called earth. But I know I should keep going, because I won't know when the promised 'goal' is going to come. I know as truth that the goal will definitely come before the final whistle. By then, I will surely be overjoyed and will certainly have no regrets at all.

I am a small man and last Wednesday night, I dreamt that I was a trucker. I was driving one those large big truck that big people drive. If I had a mirror in that dream, I would love to see how I look like. Well that was Wednesday, on Monday I went to the gym. It was only my 2nd time in the gym in my lifetime if I can remember correctly. Well I thought that its good thing to start my new year honoring my resolution. It's only January, isn't it? :-)

I went to a gym near the church office and when I stepped in, there were no customers there. The staff showed me the 2 types of equiprments. The first, cardio workout equiprments which are the bicyle & track mill to workout the heart to help build stamina. Secondly, the weight training equipments to get strength/muscles. These are the irons, dumbells and host of other equipments. So I got changed and went to do some stretching. Then several guys came in and they went straight to the weight training equip & pump iron. After my stretching, I went to do some cycling and they were more guys come in and they went straight to pump iron. Then I rested and the guys at that time ½ dozen of them pumped iron. After that I joined them wondering what its all about and I was pumping iron and they were pumping iron. I didn’t spend a long time there and went to the track mill and they were still pumping iron. In my 1 hour here, nobody joined me to do any cardio-exercise at all.

I wonder to myself, what do they need all those muscles for ? I mean I go to the market I see ladies carrying heavy groceries. I go to the construction sites, I see labourers. I don’t see the guys there.

This incident among many others highlighted to me how much we are spending on things that we do not need. We exercise our mind, we exercise our body, but what we really need is some exercise in the heart, some cardio type of workout (and I don’t mean the type that I did in the gym on Monday) It’s the type we do in church.

When Jesus told his 12 disciples that one of them is going to betray him. One by one, they asked Jesus “Surely, not I ?”. Jesus kept quiet until its Judas turn and when Judas asked “Surely Not I?”, Jesus replied "Yes, it is you". I thought sure enough Judas would have had enough warning and would be determined to prove Jesus wrong but yet when the time came between the temptation of money and Jesus, Judas was too weak to choose Jesus. It’s sad, perhaps he was healthy in the mind and in the body but didn’t have enough exercise of the heart.

I know no better exericse of the heart than to USE IT. Go & spend time with people… especially those who needs God. Love them as Christ has loved you. It’s not reading Christians books, praying at home, or reading the bible. They are good but it’s not going to make a difference unless you go out and obey what you learn from them and do what God is saying. And God in the bible says “Go”.

Admit it, we all hate hard disks!!! They are big nuisances in life, pests to have around. But even though they are, they are really things we cannot do without. It's those things in a contemporary life that we cannot understand why we buy them in volumnes they make them and there's nothing we can do about it.

Yeap, it happened again. This is the second time a hard disk crashed on me within a short span of just a few months. I can still recall Dec's entry about salvaging data from my hard disk at home.

Actually for how hard I work my hard disks, I'm not surprised. This one was used for office work every weekday and the children's service every weekend. With preparation on Saturday, it was practically moved around and used everyday of the week without any rest. And this has been happening for the last 2 years or so. Kinda violated the Sabbatical law of rest, even if its for a machine so I don't blame it for the big time crash.

After a few days getting the hard disk replaced, re-organising all the data, I'm on my way again and It feels good to be moving once more. But right now, I just need some rest.

By who else but Thomas Merton ....

about the power of love ...
“What we are asked to do is to love; and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbor worthy if anything can. Indeed, that is one of the most significant things about the power of love. There is no way under the sun to make a man worthy of love except by loving him. As soon as he realizes himself loved – if he is not so weak that he can no longer bear to be loved – he will feel himself instantly becoming worthy of love. He will respond by drawing a mysterious spiritual value out of his own depths, a new identity called into being by the love that is addressed to him.”

about ourselves....
“We must try to accept ourselves, whether individually or collectively, not only as perfectly good or perfectly bad, but in our mysterious, unaccountable mixture of good and evil. We have to stand by the modicum of good that is in us without exaggerating it. We have to defend our real rights, because unless we respect our own rights we will certainly not respect the rights of others. But at the same time we have to recognize that we have willfully or otherwise trespassed on the rights of others. We must be able to admit this not only as the result of self-examination, but when it is pointed out unexpectedly, and perhaps not too gently, by somebody else.”

about seeking God perfectly....
“This then is what it means to seek God perfectly: to withdraw from illusion and pleasure, from worldly anxieties and desires, from the works that God does not want, from a glory that is only human display; to keep my mind free from confusion in order that my liberty may be always at the disposal of His will; to entertain silence in my heart and listen for the voice of God; to cultivate an intellectual freedom from the images of created things in order to receive the secret contact of God in obscure love; to love all men as myself...”

On hindsight, I realise goodness came out of the previous hectic year. So hectic and busy it was considering that I only had one goal in my mind; That is to do things that is born out of silence. It worked, many things were done and they are all meaningful and special. 2005 will truly be a year I will not forget. It was also a year we trusted the Lord the most as a family as well...(especially in the area of finance)

I feel so blessed the past few days, birthday gifts continued to be passed to me. I mean its almost more than a week since I celebrated my birthday and its amazing that the Lord continued to bless. It feels like God has forgotten to turned off the tap. I've received a new bible last Friday, (Something really special cos I've worn out I should say my 4th or 5th one already, sadly due to poor maintenance than intensive usage). I got a birthday song and an ang pow today. I didn't expect them at all. Birthdays are not often a special thing for me. I think these presents are truly a blessing because I'm contented with none and do not depend on them for happiness. With these things, more than its given me 'stuff', it has given me the assurance of the love of God, His care and providence. And the people and community that He builds around me is nothing short of amazing.

I truly praise God for his grace & mercy,... I usually don't use that cliche much but i use it today because there's no better way to say thanks to a wonderful God.

It was first day of school yesterday. May Ann went to Primary 1 in St Hilda's Primary School, Mei Si went to K1 in her old school and Chern Han still wondering what it is all about.

I went back to work for the new year yesterday. Mag took no pay leave for the past two days to see May Ann off to her new school but will be going back to work tomorrow. I am grateful for the sacrifices made in families that have been the building block of our society. May the new year bring greater work inspired by the Holy Spirit in our nation.

I remember our week's memory verse in the children's church .. ie.2 Corinthians 5:17 "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come"

There were so many gifts going around the past 2 weeks. I received a reading light, a book about oil painting, shopping vouchers, a nice shirt, a pair of shoes and lots of glorious chocolates. I blew 3 birthday cakes including one which was
a handmade ice-cream cake. In returned I try to gave my share of gifts, made 2 cheesecakes and expressed my gratitude to those who sends their greetings. I remembered the year when nobody remembered my birthday, that I immediately made being connected with friends the top of my resolution list that year. It was easy.

Well, it's the 3rd day of this new year and I haven't done my resolution yet. Actually I am glad that I haven't, at least not before watching "Gandhi" the VCD I made Mag buy for me for my birthday last night. Well it was something I always wanted and when I saw it at Giant for only $5 I just needed another small reason to get it. Well Mag obliged to buy me this 'second' gift and it was a meaningful time watching it til the wee hours this morning. I like biographical movies. I could never truly appreciate fictional ones. To me the problem with fictional movies is, they are fictional!

I have been a secret admirer of Gandhi. Though he was not a Christian, he lived like one. He had admiration of Jesus that would moved many of us. He was honest, truthful and faithful to what he believed was the truth. And he wasn't just making change, HE WAS THE CHANGE. His life is great to impact how I make my resolution this year. Maybe I should not do the jog more, eat less, be happy type of resolution because those kept getting recycled every year. Anyway those are good things everybody assume to have anyway so I shouldn't be distracted by them. I need more thoughful and truthful resolutions. Something truly needed.

I go into the new year troubled, because a good brother opened up to me about something which moved me. I may not know what to do about it, but it sure impacted me. Sometimes I feel that God reveals something as his divine work in my own life than for me to work in others'. Gandhi's life showed me that in order to do something great, I don't need to do anything great at all. Most of the people who do, mess up.. greatly. While God can make use of the mess, it is better that we do only what is faithfully ours to do. Prayer is always ours to do. I think this year, I will continue to invest in prayer in all that I know and all that I am to do. The world already has a Savior so it sure doesn't need a poser like me. I thank God for the many things I prayed for God to do last year. 5 out of 10 in 2005 has been fulfilled.

On top of prayer, I will focus on 3 or 4 more thoughful/truthful resolutions which I'll dwell on in the next few days of my time with Him. I will not rush as I sure hope that this year will be another great year in His majestic and glorious Kingdom which I live as a sinner. One who is broken, forgiven and loved. One who truly appreciates the chance of another year!

And I really like my 'Gandhi' gift!

It's my birthday too and in a few hours time, I'll be preaching a message about a new beginning in the children's church. How do I feel ? Well I don't quite feel like a new beginning though I know it will be. Actually I feel like I'm one year closer to Jesus, so I'm just as excited.

When I was a teenager I signed up for the Kuala Lumpur International Marathon and a week before the run, I got injured during the training and wasn't able to participate in the actual race. I was so happy as I knew I wasn't ready for it. I was happy with the T-shirt and goodies that came with the registration. On the day of the race, I slept in and didn't even run a single step.

I recall that in this life God has called us to run a marathon. As we run that, we should not get carried away with little races. The problem with little races is that you either do well or you don't. If you don't do well you'll get discouraged. If you do well, the next time you don't match up (which is most likely), you will eventually get discouraged too. So the problem is not really if we win or lose but is our over-engagement in little races that we forget about the marathon. Short cuts usually thrill us for a while. It gives us that satisfaction or rush of adrenalin that usually over-promises and leaves you tired, weary and with lots of false hope than anything else.

This new year, we ought to becareful. Run the little races if we need to but don't count on it to give us happiness. (We'll get that at the end of the marathon) Learn from little races to keep focus on the real race and I wish you what you need in the best that the Holy Spirit can bring.

Having said that, some of you are like me when I was a teenager, you have collected your t-shirts and goodies but haven't started to run. (Jesus is infact much more than 'goodies') Why not start to run this year ? There are certain areas in my life that I haven't either and I'm making a point in my resolution to do it. As I do it, just want to wish everyone my season's greetings and may God bless you not with a car, a house or a wife, but with the joy of having nothing but yet having everything. It's a strange thing running a marathon but it makes perfect sense at the finishing line.. Happy New Year