Waiting for my US visa to be approved was quite a nerve-wrecking time. I didn't have much time to plan for the trip to attend a children's ministry conference in LA so besides getting my plane ticket, there's the VISA issue because I'm a Malaysian and Malaysian needs a visa to go to the States. I was quite nervous to go for the interview as I never needed a visa to anywhere before in my life. As the first time doing anything there's a bit of apprehension. I tried my best to look peaceful, carefully ensuring there's no hint of terrorism in me. My smile even though a bit artificial due to nerves was innocent enough. The officer who interviewed me passed me. I got it just like that. It was not too bad after all. Actually many things aren't too bad once we start doing it. The person before me got the "Lady Officer" my travel agency warned me about. God knows what is best.

In the embassy, I noticed a poster for 5 wanted man with a US 5 million dollar reward for information leading to them dead or alive. I wonder if my life is worth 5 million dollar. What would I do with it ? These 5 people may be worth 5 million dollars but its 5 million worth for someone else and not for them really. It's not that flattering after all. Infact its a pity. Mine life is worth God's own death come to think of it and not only that, I get to enjoy that value for myself. Now I don't really know the price of God's death but I know its definitely more than money can buy.

I'm 20 days away from going to US for the first time and there's so little time to really think about it. However I do think about how grateful I am for my friends, family and the church who made the coming trip possible for me. Their investment in my life and their believe in the purpose of the children's ministry is something that humbles me. My life is really not about myself and what I do, but its about a community of people working together towards the divine work of God and with God Himself standing in the centre of all. It's no point owning our own life and having to fight for our every single worth when we can surrender it to the one who already consider us worthy and values us much more than 5 million pieces of a US dollar note. I'm living in that faith that I don't need to work anymore and I'm loved.