Our helper quit last Wednesday and we are left with the 3 kids and the entire household chore once again. Her reason is that she doesn't think she can take care of kids. When she left she turned to me and said "I'm sorry, sir". I can not forget that face of disappointment as if she has failed badly. We were concern about her future, if this is it! ie. she will be return to her family in Indonesia with nothing but that feeling of failure; We do like her attitude and humility as a maid very much but she’s just not wired up for kids. Anyway after 2 days, we were thrilled to learned from her agent yesterday that she found another employer and we were really happy for her.

As for us, we will have to make some adjustments. That means that Mag will stop work to be full time homemaker once again. So its laundry, cooking, bring kids to school, guiding them in school work and all that stuff. She's serving her one month notice now. Initially all of us objected with the new arrangement but after some thought and consultation with others, we think she's more needed at home. So now is the time.

Today I took half a day's leave (it's been 1 full and 2 half days already) to do my part at home. Mag went to work in the afternoon when I took over. The last thing she told me before she left is that the washing machine died (right, at such appropriate time!) So Mei Si and I have to hand wash the laundry. Mei Si volunteered before you think illegal child labor.. Chern Han was the fortunate chap to have his afternoon nap early.






From a few weeks back when all of them refused to help me wash the car, until now where everyone gladly agreed to take up new roles in the family, I think we found peace in this change. It is strange that peace is found in strange circumstance like this but really its not uncommon. We are sometimes too comfortable to think that discomfort can be good. The past few days We were waking up a bit earlier; we are cherishing little moments we have together. We pray more, appreciate our meals more and also come to depend on the Lord on more things. We thought about how this will affect our ministry. We thought about if ministry and cleaning the toilet can mix? We discover that cleaning the toilet and cooking is infact ministry and to win the world, we need to be willing to clean anything. As we learn to do everything onto the Lord, let's hope that its good training ground for us to enjoy the spirituality of mundane chores (just read something from Merton on this) and see our kids be trained to depend on God for diligence and hardwork rather than a maid for help around the house. It is great that life goes on and we may be better off with the change than not.

Anyway here are some photos of Egypt .. err I mean of the trip to the zoo with Mag's Aunties and cousins the week before (when she's still around)

I asked my kids "Who would like to wash car with daddy?" I was hoping that Father's day will be that special time that the kids may respond differently and offer to help. To my delight all of them said 'Yeah, me!' until I soon learned they thought I asked "Who would like to watch Cars with daddy? When I clarified that I meant wash our good old car and not watch Disney's Cars, all of them said "not me" and went on playing.

I had a 8 year old cousin from Canada stay with us the past two days and with 4 kids in the house, I realise that I don't like children. I need to rest to regain some strength.

Today’s Father’s day and I can’t help think of my father. My dad’s a hard working man who worked so hard to provide for the family. But more than anything that he gave to us, I appreciate the most that even though he was busy he always had time for us. He was a very present father and the security of his presence when we were growing up meant so much to us.

If there’s something not so great about my dad, it would be that he doesn’t deal on a emotional level. He didn’t talk much, let alone have those one to one conversations with his children. So the time when I was like 17 or 18, when he drove me beside a quiet lake in Ampang to have a father son, one to one time, I thought he was trying to get rid of me. You know something happened at work and he couldn’t support 4 children and one of us have to go type of thing. Well, that day he spoke to me so warmly and firmly. He told me distinctly 2 things I remember til today, the first is that there’s no money in rock’n’roll and I should pick a decent career that feeds mouth. He probably noticed what I was listening to and with Def Leppard and Skid Row posters all over the wall of my bedroom plus friends that I mixed with, I don’t blame him for being concern. (But only if he had heard me sing that he’ll know I have zero future in rock’n’roll or any close). A career that feeds mouth, that's the first thing... the second thing is ..(you know I was a shy & timid boy) he told me that I should not look down on the floor so much cos there’s nothing there for me. Stand tall and be proud of who you are. That day I got lectured big time but you know what I appreciate it! I didn’t then but now I appreciate that not only he has time for me but he cared enough to have expectations of me.

We all have the security of God’s presence. Psalms 121:4 says he who watches over Israel will neither sleep nor slumber. Our heavenly Father doesn’t sleep and if he doesn’t plays golf either, that means he has all the time for us. That is security we all have in him. Have you ever wondered what his expectation is of us? I didn’t like my father’s lecture that day but I was glad that he had expections of me cos today I’m not in rock’n’roll and I’m feeding mouth …. physically and even more spiritually in the children’s church. And I almost never walk with my head looking down now. I thank God that dad had expectations of me.

Today, let’s remember our heavenly Father's promise that He’ll be with us until the end of the age. With that security let’s think about what He expects of us. If we know that and live out that purpose, we’ll never be the same again. I’m pretty sure of that.

We celebrated our Children Camp success with 13 ministry leaders & volunteers yesterday. 3 mothers, 3 kids, a couple, 2 single adults and 2 students. With a simple dinner, ice-cream at Gelare and the Disney/Pixar movie 'Cars', it was a fantastic way to celebrate a milestone in the ministry. Our celebration ended at 12 midnight and to some of us its been quite a while since we are able to do that. It was truly a great & 'youthful' time.



Yesterday was also our 8th Wedding Anniversary!! Hey, look, we made it pass our 7th year (and we don't recall itching). The journey may be challenging but the peace of God powerfully graced us through. The movie "Cars" sum up our marriage. It was fast but now moving to our twilight period where its slowed down to a more reflective or perceptive way. We no longer have anything to prove to each other and to others, we already know and assume others too. It's now no longer pride/achievement oriented but friendship and partnership focussed. Kids have been the most obvious blessing with God the pivotal difference. We are glad to know that its been 8 years.

This is Mag's favourite song and its slowly and surely replacing "Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri" to becoming mine too. hahaha

"Through The Years" by Kenny Rogers
(steve dorff/m. panzer)
I cant remember when you werent there
When I didnt care for anyone but you
I swear weve been through everything there is
Cant imagine anything weve missed
Cant imagine anything the two of us cant do

Through the year, youve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days Ive found
Ive found with you ... through the years
Ive never been afraid, Ive loved the life weve made
And Im so glad Ive stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I cant remember what I used to do
Who I trusted whom, I listened to before
I swear youve taught me everything I know
Cant imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, Ive always been so glad
To be with you ... through the years
Its better everyday, youve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you ... through the years
I never had a doubt, wed always work things out
Ive learned what loves about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, youve never let me down
Youve turned my life around, the sweetest days Ive found
Ive found with you ... through the years
Its better everyday, youve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you
Through the years!

Last week, on my journey to work I started noticing trees again. I am a big fan of trees. I remember when I was working in Grange Road where it's 2 bus stops away from Orchard Road MRT that I would choose to walk because by walking I get to go through rows of trees along Paterson Road which in my opinion are the best looking trees in Singapore. The trees were huge and majestic, compared to the ones around Joo Chiat which is shorter and stout. Nevertheless I enjoyed it and am reminded me of the state of my being. I thought that oh boy, how long ago was it when I last admired trees. I thought that the older I get and the more i grow in the Lord that I start to stop and soak things more than rush by them. I need to do something about it.

So I did. In my quietness, the Lord pointed to me in John 4:13, Jesus answered the Samaritan woman by the well, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst…“

Ah, so there are two types of water, firstly, earthly water that we will make us thirst again and secondly water that Jesus gives where we will never thirst. Possessions, accomplishments, relationships and even ministry achievements seems like earthly water that causes me to thirst again. Only water from Jesus Himself will satisfy.

I am in awe cos I know that the water that Jesus gives is not physical water nor is it water with any magical attributes. The water is actually Himself. And to give Himself to us means that we can reject it and move along or stop to accept spending quality time with Him. It potentially means also that we can start marvelling at the Lord of Creation and at the same time find the eye to notice and admire trees once again.

In Krabi, there's something I've seen which I have not quite seen before. It's nature in forms different from those I'm familiar with.





Is God a genius or what.

Just last week, I saw something different and also not quite what I've seen before. At the HopeKids Camp where we were running the children's camp together with the family group at Sofitel Resort, Johor it was an unusual sight. It wasn't an extravagant affair but the dedication of the people was remarkable. With a small team, from the recording of the theme song to the details of the deco, teaching, review and games, it was sight of commitment and dedication at a new level.

These photos tell stories of people who sacrificed their time, annual leaves(and lives), family and finances for the cause of children. They know they have caused some permanent damage to the enemy for the future of the church.






I've not quite seen myself like I was at the camp either.



That of course is a different story.

I've come to appreciate the people I work and serve with. They are what God has done for me to enrich and irritate me. Yes, its not always good but its not all that bad because good relationships are always character molding. For now, I'm just grateful for a team of people whom I must say really showed me the way.

In my past few reflections, I've been thinking of reading more and getting back into the habit of doing so. The busyness of work had really been getting to me that I'm dried up rather than being fulfilled by it. I missed having perspective and move things rather than be moved by it. It's one of those things we go through when we are passive about life. Being active means praying, meditating of God's word, reading, exercising and visiting the old folks home.

I grabbed a book 2 days ago which I finished reading within a night. A good 6 hours stretch, I read with great enlightment its conclusion at about 3am in the morning. The next day was play day at our Staff's Family Day so that means a good 2 active activity in a row.

The book is called the Tipping Point. I'm not good with names so I can't tell you his exact name. It's Malcolm something, the same author who wrote 'Blink'. Ah him.. i hear you say... His dealing with the issue of social epidemic in the book is excellent and gives us a hint of the characteristics of the trends and patterns we are better off knowing.

I recommend it to all those who gather in big groups and talk for hours just to end up with a solution that deals with the surface of the issue. If you like me are one of them, you must read this. It goes into my list of 'Books Of Fame'.