Last Saturday night. I was at a dinner party with an auntie's guest who was loud and believed in speaking his mind. When i was introduced as her nephew working in the IT industry but now works in a church, he immediately declared "Now that's a bad idea". It was a long dinner, with many anti-Christians sentiments being shared by a group of matured and seasoned Christian bashers. It was amazing to experience the sustainence of God's hand throughout what appeared to be the longest dinner I ever had. Though I was nervous, I appeared as calm as ever cos I see it as a blessing.. ie. it did finally opened up that topic for conversation at a table I often eat in.

During the staff planning retreat today (or rather yesterday), we meditated on Zechariah 8:12 .. I went further and up to verse 13 it says The seed will grow well, the vine will yield its fruit, the ground will produce its crops and the heavens will drop their dew. I will give all these things as an inheritance to the remnant of this people. As you have been an object of cursing among the nations, O Judah and Isreal, so will I save you , and you will be a blessing. Do not be afraid, but let your hands be strong".

I'm reminded that fruitfulness is an inheritance. It is meant for us because we are his children. Yet as much we want it and expect it, we must not forget that it has to come out of certain brokenness. How can a kernel of seed grows ? By dying and falling to the ground. So when we have been an object of cursing because of the Lord, then we'll be a good candidate to receive. Yet, fruitfulness once attained is really meant for blessing others and not to be consumed and kept. Then we may ask what's the big thing about fruitfulness then? Well I don't know... maybe it just isn't meant to be a big thing after all, the big thing is the joy of serving and partnering with the Lord. Pleasing and being obedient to Him. If we don't find joy pleasing God, then no fruitfulness or success is going to satisfy either.

Thinking whether Jesus is my one true joy? If so, I'm thinking that I should not be afraid but let my hands be strong, to be ready to work hard and to endure shame, brokeness and regular repentence for these are I believe prerequisites for fruitfulness to come. And once fruitfulness comes, I hope I don't get sidetrack of being too excited about the fruits that I lose my direction all together. I fear that I'll find myself riding on a vehicle called "Pride".