Been through my rounds of re-reading books and when I read "the Wounded Healer" by Henri Nouwen again last night, I don't know if it was Rachmaninoff's second symphony playing in the background or was it Henri Nouwen's words which hit me so...err gently (no longer hard since I had kids and aged) and it revived my soul and hope for the world we are living in.



The Christian life does not eliminate loneliness and pain. Loneliness/pain is presevered and cherished. God will just make them bearable so that it may be offered as understanding and compassion onto others.

I joke (though I mean it) with Mag just a few weeks ago that I feel very much for those who are getting married or just got married about what emotional turmoil they still or will still have to go through. And all the singles/celibate to think that a married life make them a little bit less lonely! I'm reminded why I still feel lonely when I'm suppose to be happily married and why I still feel pain when i'm in Christian service ? While I've long stop asking how I can be less lonely as I know its the wrong question, I'm reminded (not in a person or a environment) it is just that loneliness or pain is a effective tool of healing and a open-access to the lives of fellow sufferers. We will not ministering where the action is, unless we have walked through a similar road God has some deliberately allowed before us. Christ identified with that loneliness as He didn't take His away, when he went to the cross, he made it bearable so that in it, he can reach you and for me.

Auntie Elsie came back from the hospital. While she was there, I realise I didn't make it a point to show her I was there and that I cared. I was scared and didn't want to disturb her rest. Though I pray for her everyday in private, I'm still totally hopeless in a hospital situation. It's not I don't care, its just too many other factors. We ought to be there for people to show others how they matter to us. It's what we are called to do. We are wired to visit... so let's visit because indifference is one of the most subtle, yet greatest form of evil.

I'm thankful to Henri Nouwen for the wonderful book and his other great writing. His quote "Every real revolutionary is challenged to be a mystic at heart" has always rings deeply within.... and I'm also grateful to Andre Previn for leading the London Symphony Orchestra so wonderfully in that symphony, for if not, something may be missing in that moment of reflection :-)

Be His