The ragged pieces of ideas and thoughts of my attempt to live a life as a contemporary monastic in the urban city of Singapore..
The staff retreat was an unusual affair. This time it was at Kota Tinggi Waterfall resort with the theme of Solitude and Prayer. Being left alone with lots of free time, and with nothing official to do, we naturally go about doing what is most urgently needed. Some of us slept, some of us played games, some of us read and some of us prayed. I thought we all needed the last one a bit more than others.
I brought my son Chern Han because I wanted to relief Mag from what she does full time and also because I can. It turned out to be a good bonding time with him. With a toddler with you, any given free times will be halved. Even so with every 3 hour session, 1.5 hours of solitude is still very good (or very difficult) for prayer. I was confronted with God alone without much to say and feeling uncomfortable about it. I am surprised how unfamiliar I am with stillness in an environment that is not like my own home or office or regular quiet place back here. It was like my solitude depends on the environment rather than God Himself as the distributor of peace. Anyway I tried to do my quiet time as effortlessly as I could, barely realising, that in itself, is effort. Solitude is not easy but it is so necessary. With the type of work we are called to do in the church, it should be compulsory. Whatever it is work or no work, we ought to be delighted in any effort we can be engaged to bring us nearer into God's presence.
Psalms 37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will grant us the desires of our heart. I understood that it was wrong to keep persisting for God to grate us things after things and depending on its outcome to delight in Him. We ought to first find delight in the Lord. It should not be difficult because of His great love for us. Not hard at all if only if we are comfortable to be still and acknowledge the beauty and wonder of God. If it is difficult, then know that whatever effort needed to bring us into solitude and prayer onto the Lord is worth it.
posted by Hiew Hong Teck # 1:58 PM
Monday, November 20, 2006