The ragged pieces of ideas and thoughts of my attempt to live a life as a contemporary monastic in the urban city of Singapore..
Successfully woke up at 5 sharp this morning. Did my time of solitude, meditated on the bible, prayed for what is heavy in my heart, wrote on my journal, listened to some inspirational mp3s. Exercised, showered and then woke Mei Si up and prepared her for school. After sending her to school, still have some time for McDonalds. Thought that the day is really going well as even McDonalds coffee tasted nice. (Actually its McCafe coffee to be précised) I’m impressed. After that cuppa, I almost feel the invincibility as I was all charged up for the day. Got to the interchange, hop on the number 10 ready for a grand day.
2 minutes after the bus departed from the interchange, I sat down with heavy eyelid. I felt so tired and sleepy. I was like yawning non stop. Then I didn’t feel like a leader. Infact I didn’t even feel like a Christian.. or even like a human. I felt like a zombie. I felt that I’m almost dead unable to face the day.
I figure its so easy to be human because we are infact human. As human I have God given capability to say okay I did everything I could but I feel tired. And since I feel tired, I’m going through the day the best as I can just as planned and I’m going to be sleeping early tonight. I think its pretty strange for us to feel that the plan is not working just because of a feeling. Plan is only not working when we stop doing what is planned. Feeling is part of being human and God created that.
It’s almost lunch time, I’m at work and feeling alive again.
posted by Hiew Hong Teck # 11:42 AM
Wednesday, January 10, 2007