Ever realise that you have spoken more than you have listened and you are so tired of talking again. Feel like what comes out of your mouth is so futile, doesn't achieve much but brings more emptiness within ? Well this morning when I tried to pray, I felt like that and realised that I have said enough and have nothing else to say.

So I prayed using scripture and it was Psalm 100 that i chose...

Psalm 100

(v1) Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth

(v2)Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

(v3) Know that the LORD is God.
Is is he who made us and we are his
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture

(v4) Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his anem.

(v5) For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.


I prayed for God to grant me a sense of joy when worshipping (v1-2), understanding of my true identity in Christ as beloved children (v3), thankfulness for having the community of the church (v4) and his eternal faithfulness (v5) that we can start investing now.

When I pray the psalms, I don't have to think of what I should pray for. It will be God's will that I am pray for. Praying the Psalms reveal a secret movement of the heart in its struggle against superficial illusions.

I'm reading "Contemplative Prayer" by my favourite monastic writer Thomas Merton. It was between listening to Bruckner Symphony Number 3 by Chicago Symphony Orchestra or reading this book. Bruckner 3 wouldn't be a bad choice but this book is better for the season and I am so glad I decided to read instead.

I used to collect comics when I was a kid because my second brother collects them. OK I was just a by-the-way collector, he was the primary addict. Having just watched parts of the latest movie Fantastic four, I'm reminded of the 4 heroes in the Fantastic Four comics that I used to read and also the 5 little heroes in Power Pack. (my brother collected FF and I, the PP)... Each of these heroes worked in the team and usually for the reason of peace and justice. There was never one member who has similar power to the other. Everybody was different and I think that's the reason why I like them.

I tried to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's trailer over the internet but my laptop is not ready for these sort of thing. I'm more of an audio guy. So while I can do all sorts of audio recording, conversion of formats, audio compression etc, I cannot even watch a simple streaming video on the internet.

I think I need a video guy in my team. Having different types of people in any team is a good thing.

Carol Truesdale

Renae Smith

Carol Truesdale and Renae Smith (from the US or A) conducted the Discipleship Seminar for HopeKids Ministry last night. Met them the day before for some sharing, chit chat and dinner at the Bedok Market. Then sent them home to their host family in Punggol and Sembawang where Renae sang Christmas Carols with my second daughter Mei Si for an hour or so....

Hmmm singing christmas carols in July ? ... only happens with children.

5 things (of much more) I learned yesterday...

1) Mentoring kids in prayer (or anything else for that matter

So stand side by side, say a few lines then let them say a few. Don't let it become an adults ministry where only adults pray.

2) Grab their attention, survey what they need ...
Infact I remembered last Sunday, i was watching Fantastic Four with Wie Wie kids, Slyvinna her niece, also a HopeKid told me "Uncle Hong Teck, make this into a lesson!". Really this is what they want!

3) Effective Discipline

- Reflect their feelings
- Give them choices
- Be consistent

Powerful 3 points

4) Children church should be like a (second) home to them.

Be comfortable with dialogue with kids.

5) Best way to connect them to God is when you are connected to God!

Take things from your own life to connect them... ah ha .. that's where journalling helps to keep track of what is happening in our own life.

Do we always get along with people ? Not really. Sometimes I wonder if its better to have a dog for a friend. The chances of getting along with a dog is higher than any human friend. A dog friend will be always be excited to see you, respects you and will not talk back. It may bark but it doesn't necessarily get on your nerves.

On my way to work, I have to walk through some private residences. The path to work on a weekeday is filled with poo-poos on the sidewalk I have to constantly avoid stepping onto. Looking at the slimmy (sometimes dried up) things this morning, I'm thinking 'yeah keep a dog and i will have to deal with these sort of things sonner of later. It'll be like humans, I have to handle the poo!

Accept it, life is complex, and in order to truly accept something, whether it is work, it is writing, it is making music, it is people or animals, we have to deal with something that is so called 'bad'. Sometimes this things just creeps up on you like a bogeyman.

So we need resilence, we need courage, we need to be open minded to deal with them and while doing so, we need to see the lighter side of it too. Remember poo can be shit, it can be manure or it can just be described and laugh about. It's a matter of perspective. It is important to have perspective especially when it comes to poos.

Having said that ..note that sin is not poo, at least it's not the type that we can take lightly. OK sin is the type of poo that only Jesus can deal with.

Earlier this week, I picked up a book entitled Jacob’s Blessing from the library. Though I didn’t find the book very interesting, I got to read the life of Jacob from the bible once again.

I’ve always liked the character of Jacob. I like him so much so that we did a musical based on him a few years back. And I remembered the scene where Jacob wrestled with this man for his blessings which he later knew was God Himself. In the musical, we had a brother acted as Jacob, and nobody acted as God so there this brother was, in the middle of the stage, all by himself, and for 5 minutes he had to wrestled with seemingly nobody. But we give him some music so it doesn’t look that funny.. It was quite fun to watch!

And it’s always that part that made me wonder why Jacob did that ? I wonder if he knew that the man was God, would he still have wrestled with him ? Actually I sort of concluded that he would. If you know Jacob he’s the kind of guy who likes blessings. Remember his dealings with his brother Esau, his father Isaac and father law Laban ? So I believe if he knew the man was God, all the more he would have wrestled for his blessings for who else can give better blessings than God.

I admired Jacob for that. He desired for God’s blessings. So I thought that I should wrestle with God too. I think God wouldn't mind wrestling with me because He will always win. In Jacob’s case, he won big time, dislocated Jacob’s hips and left him walking away with a limp. Scary …but when I read the bible, I realised that it never recorded about Jacob’s misery living with a limp, but it did record Jacob truly blessed life after that. He reconciled with Esau and lived a blessed and prosperous life.

We all need to be like Jacob, to yearn desperately for God, even if it leaves us with a limp. But it's okay because we are all gonna die and when we die, a limp is not going to mean anything anymore, what will is that we have found God and his blessings in our life.

Our pastor's blog has been linking us to one another so my wife Mag got to find out that I've been mentioning her & putting her photos in my blog. She asked me how come I didn't ask her permission. She asked with a semi-hidden pleasantly surprised grin! .... err How can I help it. She is infact half of me and if I journal about my life, I cannot imagine not mentioning her. It will be like ..... hamburger without the ham!

Her second question was "Why did you choose all the photos of me wearing red ?" (ie. this & this) I have no answer for that because I'm colour blind and I really have no idea.

My wife was happy not getting good answers. Anyway my week went beyond questions from my wife, this week so far has been absolutely hectic.( hey wait a minute, so was last week!.. and the week before that..) Anyway I'm glad to still get a chance to catch up with an old friend who just lost his job, some people I'm looking after, a new IT volunteer and God.

You know that life is great when you are very busy but still have a chance to catch up with someone.

Listening to Mark Knopfler's The Ragpicker's Dream. His 'Money For Nothing' guitar brought back memories of when i saw him with Dire Straits in Perth a few years back. He sings with a voice which is neither tehnical or sweet. He utters and mumbles which correctly represents what most of us do when we talk. His voice and guitar sound so human that I cannot help but get connected to it. You cannot be too clinical about music. It cannot be disected or over analysed or tried too hard, it has to come out from the soul & spirit. What comes from the soul touches the soul... Natalie Merchant, Van Morrrisson, Tracy Chapman, Keith Green and Mark Knopfler knew that.

God knew that very well cos it is infact his design. That's why he redeemed us and put his spirit and soul into us again so that we can be his voice. Only soul will touch the soul of the person next to you. Listen to Mark Knopfler and you know what I mean.

I finally met Jimmy Teo the author of "The Legacy to His Sons" (reference: my Chiang Mai Trip) Had him at the church to share with the parents and the kids. It was a pleasure to meet him because he was the one whose writing in his book encouraged me to shower with cold water whenever possible. I don't know much of him but from my meeting with him, I found him to be an experienced, with a 'rags to riches' story but yet a simple and down-to-earth man. He spoke like a father would to his children, wisdom from his experiences in life, something I feel we don't share to our children enough of (or something we didn't hear enough of from our own fathers in the first place)

Sometimes not that fathers don't have such wisdom, its just that fathers don't know how to share them with their children. Asian fathers are not outspoken, they are not conversationists, they are quiet, reserved and shy.In other words Asian fathers are asian.

Above all the good things that Jimmy Teo shared, he gave us a vision of what could be a tool for all asian fathers to use to share wisdom. It is words in written form. Jimmy has only an '0' level education but he is now a best selling author. He encouraged us to write. To start by writting notes of encouragement, letters and maybe just a chapter of a book for others.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going, so it'll take a 'start' from any of us to leave a legacy. I was thinking of the fact that ...didn't God our heaven Father Himself also use words in written form 'the Bible' to pass down His legacy to us ?"..

Other things I learned from Jimmy:
1) The words "I am sorry".
2) Pray and support our leaders for they go though a lot of things we cannot see.
3) Do not hinder kids from coming to God...help them.
4) Laughter is what makes us human..and so is crying.

Ended the day with a fantastic breakthrough campaign in church, a tour for parents of the new venue of HopeKids LIVE! service, a drink at the Singapore Chinese Swimming Club and a nice dinner at my granduncles house. Though it was a long day, I didn't feel tired. Because I slept early the night before.

There! I can be like Jimmy Teo .. my wisdom for the day. Please sleep early! Oh by the way, I didn't realise its 1:18 am already, I better get some sleep now..Good night!

Me with Jimmy & a great couple in the church, Alan and Hsueh Ting

Took one day leave to spend time with the family because it was France's National Day. You see my wife works in a french company which sells helicopters. Being a french company and being proud & patriotic about it, the company declared a half day leave for all staff. That means my wife who works part time there gets to spend the whole day with us. How cool is that ?

We went to Suntec City where my wife needs to do some food shopping and I need to go to my annual PALA conference, the trade show for broadcast, audio/visual, stage, lights equipments, so and so, blah and blah hurray. That was in the late afternoon but before that, we were in Shenton Way where we visited the Central Depository Office at the Singapore Stock Exchange to open a CDP account. A CDP account will enable us to buy shares if we want to. It's not like we are going to buy any, its just the feeling of being able to do so when we want to. Anyway it is FREE and being Malaysians who lived in Singapore, we have to do something Singaporean sometime. Furthermore its good family fun to go to the heart of the central business district of Singapore with a child, a toddler, a baby and a maid during the busiest time of a weekday. Boy I cannot describe to you the amount of attention we get from all the hi flying, coat wearing, blue collared executives walking past us. We got a few heads turning. Being the first time in Shenton Way with the whole family, it was quite fun.

Though we are not into speculating, we did do it last night. We were terrified and disappointed when we realised that the 25% discount for petrol of all petrol stations across the island tumbled down to 5% this morning. It was a speculation that the discount will last another night. So last night when we were contemplating if we should top up the tank, we made the decision to wait. So wrong was that decision, we concluded that we will NOT be very good in the stock market.

We thank God that as Christians we don't speculate on the stock market. Instead we bet on a sure thing in Christ, His eternal life in Heaven and a pretty good time down here on earth, serving Him. Christ is the share in a stock market that never tumbles! We can bet on Heaven.... surely.

This is a book I read to my children last night. "Igor The Bird Who Couldn't Sing" was written by Satoshi Kitamura. It was a perfect story for someone like me who loved music but couldn't find anything to keep me doing it because he doesn't think he has the talent (or rhythm) for it. Igor was such a character, totally hopeless in something he truly loved. One day when he thought he couldn't do it anymore, he sang and found a willing audience in a big bird called Dodo. They later formed a duet and toured the world to play to whoever that is willing to listen to them.

At around midnight yesterday, when everyone else was sleeping, I found my willing audience once again. I wrote my first complete song called "This Time" after almost a year. I put a melody to it, and had it recorded with my rusty equipments... a guitar track, my own vocal and for the first time my drum track played with fingers on my little drum machine. After an hour or so, it was completed, waiting for someone else willing to listen to it. For now, I'm happy to know that God is my only willing audience.

I write (whether music or words) not for others to listen to more than for myself needing to do it. If what I write can bless others, great, otherwise its not for me to decide how God will use it or if He will use it at all. My job is to be faithful doing what I think God created me to do.

In the same manner, I will try to love, serve and make things with my hands. I may feel inadequent most of the time and thinks that no one appreciates them, I know for sure that God with His great taste will most certainly do.

I think I'll put this book into my Books of Fame! It'll be the first children book to end up there. Another good children book is the The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, but it didn't impact me as much as this book did.

The charm of Joo Chiat Road from the car... err..I know Singapore Law is against using handphone while driving but is taking photos okay? I wonder

I work in Joo Chiat Road. At lunch time its perhaps one of the best place to work in Singapore. Though the food may be good but I don't eat lunch so often because lunch time is always way too early for me. I wonder which wise guy first invented lunch time and defined it as an hour between 12 to 2 that now most companies have clearly adopted without consultation with their present employees :-) I'm always caught between a heavy breakfast and an anticipated heavy dinner so i usually work through lunch time with the hope of reaching dinner time unfazed.

Sometimes I fail. Like today at 3:30pm I felt hungry that i had to make a decision to eat .. something light. I wanted to spend 80 cents on a roti prata. Went to the prata shop and when I was told they are sold out, I had no choice, either a $3 prawn noodle across the road or go hungry. I decided to cross the road and it all happened so fast, I didn't know what hit me but there I was sitting there with a $5 prawn noodle (perhaps the most expensive prawn noodle I ever had in a non air conditioned place). To make matter worse when the auntie asked if I would like a drink, I said "yes, I would like a can of soya bean" when clearly I didn't want to pay for one. I think she ought to ask if I wanted to BUY or PAY FOR a drink. Then I would have said no for sure.

How mad was I ? (although at myself more than anyone else).. I spent $6.10 for a lunch I only wanted to pay 80 cents for.

Anyway a while later, I recalled a week back when London only wanted the joy of winning the bid for the 2012 Olympics but was surprised with something more; an inhumane terrorist attack on the city which claimed 50 lives. How is that compared to my lunch tragedy? What is the extra few dollars that eventually went into my own mouth anyway ?

It normally won't take long for us to realise that life is often not going to go the way we want it to. So we ought to live with contentment. Contentment by accepting the good with thanksgiving and the not so good with reflection & adjustment even if it results in suffering. That's probably the best way that we can live right now until we come to the end of our life journey where when we see the Lord, we will know that despite what life has dished out to us, it has reached where we always wanted it to reach after all. ie. Back to Him.

Was at Changi Airport last night to send our dear friend Susan who's migrating to Sydney. Susan has been a friend we really got to know when we were in the Johanesburg Church where she was serving 4 years ago. Since then they have been various chances to met and exchange ideas, encouragement and blessings. Although we don't meet often but when we do it, she will always laugh!

It was a farewell without much fan fare. No banners, no songs, nothing fancy, just good friends and a special time with a good sister.


Farewell Susan! May God help you share your love to others and may He multiple blessings onto your life. Grow to be strong and yet tender, powerful and yet responsible. Grow to be like Jesus having convictions that puts many to shame, following God in your destiny.

Grow in childlikeness ... for the Kingdom of God belong to such as these.

Thanks for the countless blessings to us. We'll miss you around...


I realise i don't have a photo of Susan, so i found this free image to sum her up .. In the few years we have known her she has lived in 4 continents of the world.. and I for one am still in my monastic desert.

But don't feel sorry for me cos there's a big world around where I am which I have yet seen, that I'm strangely curious about. Until its my time to move, i'll have my eyes open and will keep looking.

Was at a BBQ party for a 6th year old friend. Nathan turned 6 today. An active HopeKid, a wonderful child of one of our dear sister in Christ, we are blessed because we get to see him at least twice a week, once on Friday in our care group and another on Sunday. We are blessed to be able to see him grow.

The party was without magic shows or clowns. Nothing fancy, but just good food, good friends and and a special time with a 6 year old boy.


Happy Birthday Nathan! May God help you share your toys to others and may He multiple blessings onto your life. Grow up to be strong and yet tender, powerful and yet responsible. Grow up to be like Jesus having convictions that puts many to shame, following God in your destiny.

I look forward to keep seeing you grow ....

I met 5 people in Tampines since last night.

Joyce was a mother i met in the playground (playground again? yeah, one of my favourite hangout nowadays). She's an American Chinese married to a Malaysian and been living in Singapore for the past 10 years.

Siew Hee was Joyce's Malaysian husband. He works for a company in Tuas in Finance. Quite incidently they lead the children's ministry in Central Christian Church.

Justin and Kelvin were their wonderful kids age 5 and 2. As boys as they were, they challenged me to a game about colours that I could never get right.

We hit it off and they end up coming back to our place to use the toilet. Well Kelvin their 2 year old wanted to PooPoo urgently, their car was in the shops and they were too far away to reach home before it could get messy. They called the friend closest to them who has a toilet but he was not at home. We connect to one another, our kids connected with theirs and they ask if they can invite us over for dinner one day.

This morning I met the fifth person. After my quiet time at the coffee shop, he came over to sit at my table. He was a retired man living in Jurong but was having breakfast in Tampines. I asked "So far?" He said "Not far at all as I have more buddies in far away places like Malaysia than in I have here in Singapore where i've been staying for all my life". Physical proximity may not necessarily mean better connection with others.

He shared about his sons, daughters and in-laws who are either doctors, PHD degree holders or IT managers etc. He made some conclusions about his children who are such high flyers. He said that what is the point being so learned and established when none of them can even talk to a guy like him.

My quiet time that morning was incidentally about being salt and light. I reflected and wrote in my journal about the late Rich Mullin someone whom i admire close to idolatry at one time, how he has been an arrow pointing to heaven. A reluctant celebrity, a lonely poet and God devoted guy, he never put a label of greatness upon himself. He was torn and broken just like you and me and he admitted to it such a way that has made him accessible to everybody who knew him.

We can be a salt and light only if we have access to others. I can remember Jesus as a reluctant star as well, a lonely poet and a God devoted guy who came to live a life as an everyday man so that He can have access to all.

(By the way, speaking of the 5 people that I met, have you read "The 5 person I met in Heaven" by Mitch Alboim http://www.albomfivepeople.com/? I can recommend it to you or you can simply borrow my copy ... if you ask nicely )

A picture of us without any children .. err I mean without any children's face) 

I finished doing up the roster for the new HopeKids LIVE! Service at 2:30 this morning. Sent it out to my all my 'partners in crime' and spent some time with God as i wondered.

At 2:45 am, I suddenly had a sense of urgency to read a book about marriage. A book about marriage? That question just filled my mind... Why? I don't think i have ever agonised through a book about marriage. But I did have that sense and felt that after all the ups and downs of 7 years of marriage, there is a need to. I was surprised by myself as in the midst of the busiest time of my ministry, i am thinking about this.

So i went to my study room and ran through the shelves and to my surprise of that all our books were on leadership, children, monastic lifestyles, prayer and counselling, I found none about marriage. There's one called the Act of Marriage by Tim La Haye but I'm convinced it is a book about sex more than it is about marriage. Now that type of book I have.. I was surprised because I've been married for 7 years and I don't have a reference book on marriage. Finally i managed to find a little book given to us called "A Little Book fo Instructions for Couples" which I read before I slept at 3am. It was not quite a book but a little booklet with clever quotes and some bible verses. I learned some great pointers there.

Hemmm, this morning when I woke up, I realise that I didn't pay enough attention to something that is so important and have been running on a discover as I go along mode. Mag is a wonderful wife, mother and friend to me and I try to be to her but being wonderful doesn't mean that we can be in a marriage using our own wisdom or understanding.

We ought to live our lives based on the eternal principles of God. And for matters as delicate and as important as marriage, we ought to be guided. After that I realised I do have 2 books on marriage but it was hidden deep inside the remote parts of the shelves which just comfirm how much we have been lacking in this area.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight".

and after all that happened, i'm contented and now in quietness ...however i am still seeking for the solitude of the heart .. have been my resolution since the beginning of this year. i wish to find it .. Jesus, help me find it.

Mag took the kids to auntie Elsie's place. I was delibrately left home alone this afternoon to do some work to prepare for tomorrow which will be a busy Sunday. I will have a morning session to teach the kids how to write their journals, then after lunch a session with the team to discuss the implementation of the HopeKid LIVE! service in August and later in the afternoon chairing the church Team Rally. After that I will be rushing off to see my daughter's first piano performance (hopefully in time to catch her slot because of the clashes with my role in the Team Rally)

Anyway, this is a rare occasion i have alone at home, besides the proper work that i could do, i managed to blast my home sound system with a CD (Boulez's Mahler Symphony Number 7). It was fantastic and i didn't know the system's (Axiom speakers powered by NAD amp) capability until i can hear it loud and stretched. After that I played David Gray's One fine day .. or something like that ($2 from MJ). I also had a chance to play my guitar (fernandes tele) which i haven't done so for quite a while. I turned up my amplifier (vox valvetronix) as loud as i could.

Indeed it was a loud afternoon .. but the highlight of it was a quiet chance to read 2 of our children in HopeKids' journal. It was great going into their little world where God is so conveniently placed .. everywhere .. from their pockets to their hearts. It was such a pleasure to know that at their age, they can relate with God in a most intimate way.

I learned one thing from 7 y/o Josiah's journal when he wrote "The good news of Jesus is like newspapers, it should spreads fast every morning to all parts of Singapore".

God use us as your instrument!